Alone, Afraid

You will not understand this world until the day you lay in bed next to your love and you realize you are dying. You turn to look at her. You just want to say how you love her. You want to tell her it is okay. That you are going to a better place, though you do not know if it is a lie. You try to force those three words in a desiccated gasp through those failing cords. You despair as nothing comes out.You want her to know you are dying. To hold her. To kiss her. To look in her eyes one last time. She will not know, not until dawn kisses her face and reveals the emptiness. A hunk of meat that was once her whole life. You watch the fringes of your vision go black as your body struggles in futility to grab one last breath. Only too soon will the heart you gave to the woman next to you be nothing more than a cold lifeless object. She will not give you one last kiss. One last “I love you.” One last “It will all be okay.” She will not see the light fade from your eyes, and you will never again look into hers. Your body will grow as cold as the world it inhabits. You will die alone. Next to your love, in a room full of people, or completely by yourself. It matters not. You will die, cold and empty. The reasons why being beyond you. Just hoping god is there to explain.

Not understanding why your body is failing you. Screaming silent internal screams from the panic and fear. You will die alone, cold and afraid. Like a dumb animal. For all your intelligence and arrogance you are just as ignorant. You will not understand. You will be afraid. You will beg and plead to any god or devil, even those your self-righteousness would not allow you to believe until your demise became apparent. You will die a coward willing to sacrifice everything for just a moment more of life. That one all important breath. Some may die in the masses, but we all die alone.

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